Memories of the Dead, Living, and Cheese
by Circuit the Cheese Lover
Summary: Ayanami Is a shinigami that remembers her past, from the world of the living, and her journey through Hell. She seemes to view herself more like a cat than a human...considering how many times she's died. She did it all to find her brother, who was killed in a house-fire. Rated T for gore and language.
1. How I ended up in Hell

**I know the first chapter of all new stories is weird and awkward and never the best...so bare with me here.**

As I lied on the pavement with blood soaking through my kimono, the only thought that came to my head was...Why. Why was any of this happening, and why to me?!

You probably have no Idea what I'm talking about...So lets start back 1000 years ago when I was alive, because I remembered everything. Maybe that's why.

*.*.*

MAY 16, 1713 WORLD OF THE LIVING

*.*.*

Dirt swelled in the overused pathway. Clouds crowded out the suns rays in the sky. Heavy drops of rain fell seldomly. It was a day filled with sorrow, not just because the weather was horrendous, but a mother had just died in child labor. The child was just lucky enough to survive, by that day's standards. The child's older sister, just eight years older, was handed the child and told this:

_The mother didn't seem to have enough will left to name it._

_He's not an it! _The sister snapped back_. 'It's' a He!_

_Don't get too attached to it, for it is likely to die in a week._

_NOO! He will live! And I will raise him, and name him!_

The father of the family, who was already drowned in his sorrows for his wife slapped the sister and yelled _That...thing, is a curse to this family, get rid of it! Get it and your self out of my sight! Don't come back till you rid yourself of it!_

Stunned, the girl ran from the hut and into the streets. It was poring now. She asked a kind looking woman for her shawl and she kindly obliged. After she wrapped up the child, she ran as far as she could go and hid in a nearby partly sheltered alleyway between two huts. Her hair clung to her neck and back from the rain.

For the first time, the sister got a good look at her new baby brother. He had big, round, turquoise eyes, and a tuff of white hair.

_You are not a he, a him, or an it. You will soon have a name, and live to be proud of it._

He looked up at her with his big innocent eyes and reached up for a strand of her half blue half white hair. An object so many people seemed to give her grief over. No matter how much she insisted that it was her real hair, people always seemed to despise her for it. But the child seemed to be amused by it. The sister wondered if his hair would ever tint the dark blue color she loathed. He already had white hair, and they had the same eyes. Frightened, round, confused, and turquoise.

Someone called the sister's name but it was lost in the wind. The girl sensed something staring at her and turned in the direction anyway. What she saw was a transparent silhouette in the form of her dead mother's body. The girl wanted to cry and run to her, but she couldn't seem to find the words or any strength left.

With her baby brother in her arms, she collapsed and shivered. The girls' mother drifted over and said:

_I had not the strength or will left to name the child. It would just be shameful if he was named by the dead. Raise him well, Ayanami. A last favor to me._

With that she placed her blessing over the children, and disappeared in flash of light.

_I swear I will raise him well, Mother_. Ayanami vowed. _And I will name him._

Ayanami looked at the child and felt a wave of exhaustion wash over her. Her head spun and that's when she thought of it.

_As long as I am alive, I will be your mother, to nurse you, your father to teach you, you sister to correct you, and your friend to guide you through life...Hitsugaya Toushiro._

With that she passed out from exhaustion and fell asleep, cradling the newly named child against her chest.

_.*.*._

_TIME LAPS_

_*.*.*_

_Nine years later..._

'Toushiro! Slow down!' Ayanami called after her ecstatic little brother who raced through the streets at a neck breaking pace with a watermelon in his hand half his size. People shouted in protest as the little kid made his way through the crowd.

When she finally caught up with him, he was in an ally way, munching away on the freshly opened watermelon.

'Troublemaker' Ayanami muttered while she went to join her brother for lunch.

When Toushiro saw his sister round the corner, he smiled and offered her a piece of melon. She happily obliged.

'Ney, Aya' Toushiro asked after swallowing, 'Why do people hate us so much?'

'What?' The question caught Ayanami off guard. 'Why do people _hate us?'_

'Yeah. The man at the market didn't look happy to see you, and chased us out when we were done. He didn't even let you pay!'

Thoughts bounced around in Ayanami's head, weather to tell her brother or not. She had only tried keeping something from him twice, succeeding once and giving in the second time. She thought it would be best if he knew, since he was nine now, about to turn ten. Then she made up her mind and said 'I'll tell you when we get home.'

'OK' beamed Toushiro and he bounced off into the crowd.

_He's grown so much over the years _Ayanami thought. Toushiro had grown up to look a bit like his father, but only a bit. He looked more like herself, having the similar eyes, his Turquoise, her's ice blue. They changed when she turned eleven. Their hair was also similar, but Toushiro's was only white, not blue. Height wise, he only came up to her waist.

When she reached home, she found her brother starting to boil water over the fire pit. Their house was an old rundown abandoned hut that no one would look twice at. But the walls and ceiling were intact and hole-less. Over time, Ayanami had turned it in to a four roomed house, with a two bedrooms, a main room, a bathroom and there was also a basement for storage.

The main room was a plain room, with a fire pit in the middle with a handmade table in the corner. There was a shelf that had been dug into the side of the wall where cooking tools and dry food was placed. sun poured through a hole in the wall that was a square window with a ragged brown sheet pushed over to the side for a curtain.

After the water finished boiling, Toushiro found two clean tea cups on the shelf and threw a combo of tea leaves and spices into them along with boiling water. When He waas satifyed, he brought one over to his sister and sat facing her.

'So...' He said anxiously with big eyes. 'Why?'

'The reason is...' Ayanami inhaled, then stopped abruptly, sniffing the air.

'What's wrong Aya?'

'Is something...burning?'

'Burning?' Toushiro said slowly. No sooner than he had said it, black smoke poured through the window.

'OUT. NOW.' Ayanami yelled. Just as the two of them had reached the doorway, something fell in front of it, burning. Ayanami grabbed her brother's hand and guided him toward the window. But that part of the wooden hut had collapsed. Ayanami started to feel dizzy from all of the smoke she had inhaled. She sunk to her knees from dizziness. The roof started to collapse, a big section above them was coming loose. Ayanami shielded her brother away from the collapsing roof as it fell on top of them.

The last thing she remembered was the pain of the blistering heat and the red of flames.

*.*.*

When Ayanami came to, She had a massive headache from dehydration and a scorched back. When she recovered her bearings, she was in the ruins of a fire with an unidentifiable, half-charred figure next to her. She had a bad third degree burn along her left forearm and right thigh. When she tried to stand up, her world turned upside down and she found herself on her bum.

That's when she remembered what had happened. Where was Toushiro? She had made it out alive, so he must have too.

A dry breeze picked up scattering ash. A piece of charred paper floated in her lap. On it read:

_Mission-Burn Hitsugaya household, kill the Cursed one. _

_Objective-Bring long awaited peace to the village. _

_Failure__-Penalty of death. _

Ayanami just stared at it. Someone had _intentionally _set their place on fire...and the figure next to her was...

She turned it over, the whole right half of the person had been burned away. It's left eyelid was still closed. Ayanami lifted it up, only for it to disintegrate into blood and tissue in her hands. What looked up at her was her brother's turquoise eye. Ayanami screams echoed off the remains of the walls as a person approached.

'Darn, looks like this one survived, just makes my job that much harder.'

Ayanami's vision went red. Before she knew what had happened, the man was laying on the burnt ground, decapitated. Red liquid oozed everywhere. The dusty sword in her hand that had been pulled out from a forgotten corner had not been unsheathed in years, now dripped in blood.

Ayanami calmed down shortly after that, and delved herself into the basement to look for a spade.

When she emerged from the basement shortly afterwards, Aya noticed that twilight had fallen and went to look for a spot to bury the bodies.

After walking a while, she found a spot on an abandoned back-hill. Ayanami Respectfully buried her brother and carved out a rough tombstone out of an oak branch. She kicked the stranger's body down the hill and decided to let it rot.

It was from that day on, Ayanami Hitsugaya became the most feared assassin in Japan. She knew her actions would condemn her to Hell, But all she currently wanted to do to the world was get even and get revenge for the death of her innocent brother...

...that is, until she died.


	2. Escaping Hell

I'll be honest right off the bat...Hell sucks. There's no sugar coating that reality. But it's not what you would expect either.

What it's not: A big pit of uncivilized, gruesome people half burned and charred in a big fiery pit with burning embers, wailing in pain to account for their sorrows and sins that they committed in the world above.

What it is: A civilized system of many levels. Each more gruesome than the next.

The deeper you go, the more likely it is to lose your sanity, for the higher the reiatsu (spirit pressure) of the place becomes. Regular mortals go insane after a week on the first level. Mortals with a bit of spirit pressure can stay sane for a month. The first level is called City, where white blocks float amonst blue pathways.

The second level is more intense, with twice the amount of reiatsu. The second level is called the Lily Garden, for it looks like a big pond with lily flowers circling around. Those who stay sane there are moved to the third level.

The third level is just called the Third. It is composed of mainly a rocky landscape with pools of yellow lava here and there. This is where beast-like creatures, similar to hollow, yet not, roam.

The fourth level had the geography of foothills, with black sand that is really crushed bones from Togabito. From an opening of the face of a cliff, there is a waterfall of the yellow lava from the Third. The fourth level is called Bone Falls.

The fifth and lowermost level of Hell...is simply called Hell. Only the worst, most powerful creatures have to endure that. Hell is covered in black spires of rock with veins of lava running down them. Dead skeletal trees sprout here and there. Most are charred piles of ash due to frequent lightening strikes...and yes, lightening strikes in the same place many times in Hell.

But to think that Hell is civilized at all...is quite surprising.

Why was I sent to Hell? Quite simple. Ever since the incident...I had become a feared mass murder with a huge bounty on my head. Mainly for vengeance, also for pleasure. For some unexplainable reason, driving a rusty blade through someone's heart or head had a thrill feeling to it.

Anyway, my ended had ended when someone set off a bomb during a Massacre.

So those actions condemned me to Hell. I'd survived the City, and went to the Third voluntary. I'd survived the insanity of the Third, and was sent to Bone Falls. Apparently I had strong Reiatsu, because I was still sane. Eventually I was forced to the fifth Level, Hell. And here I am, still as sane as I was when I died...or I was just insane to start off with.

Or maybe, my hatred was stronger. That's people's main source of power 6 ft under, their hate for the world. Those who don't hate the world as much as others...go insane and become pray for the angry. My hatred was deeply seeded, and may never be rooted out of me.

Since so few are sane hear, people...creatures, form packs and gangs. Surviving all the way down to Hell, I'd gotten quite a few recruit offers.

I turned them all down. I preferred to kill alone.

So, out of their big ego's, since I'd turned them down, they decided to hunt me down and that I'd have to suffer there wrath...this was Hell after all. It's like a RPG game...after you die, you re-spawn...painfully. I've only had to experience that once, and it was not fun.

No one could beat me. Some how, when I had died...been blown up, and sent to Hell, my sword came with me. So I became known as the lone ranger who worked alone. All who crossed my path and annoyed me, died. Those who didn't bother me...were fine.

Many have tried to escape Hell's grasp on them, but none had succeeded. All had failed. But no one let that face discourage them.

But as soon as someone found a spark of hope, they were swallowed by it, therefore drowning in despair as soon as they realized it impossible. Therefore, going insane.

A few of the smarter ones learned that all creatures, sane and insane, are bound by the chains of Hell. In order to escape those need to be severed.

But nothing could sever them. As soon as one was reincarnated, chains wrapped themselves around the new-born victim.

Hell sounds like a pleasant place, doesn't it?

Anyway, I was practicing my sword skills out of pure boredom. I had set up skeletal dummies made from tree branches in a squircle (square-circle). They each had branches for swords and plates of hard bark as shields. As I cut them down one by one, I realized that I had hit something hard. I saw that one of the links in the chain on my right arm had been severed (I'm a lefty).

What I was expecting was a big storm of chains to fall from the sky and link to the broken chain...but nothing happened. As an experiment, I severed the links connecting to the shackles on my legs. They fell away and nothing happened. It was almost like Hell was turning a blind eye. Severed chains weren't uncommon, but usually Hell replaced them immediately.

I severed the chains around my neck, biceps, and stomach. Nothing seemed to happen, when a thought hit me:

_This is my chance to escape and run away to Soul Society and maybe meet up with my brother. Apologize for turning out to be suck a fucked up person, and everything else...if he remembers me. Only people from Hell retain their memories of the living world, for memories can be more painful than the rebirth process. When reborn in to __Soul Society, memories are erased and they start off as a new person. _

___Now to get out of this Hell hole_ I thought. I concentrated on what the gates looked like, for I could still remember. _Soul Society _I thought _I want to go to Soul Society. _

Just then a void of white light opened up in front of me. _No way_

As I neared it, Hell started to react like I thought it would. Chains rained from the sky in a desperate attempt to rejoin with my broken shackles.

I wasn't about to let this chance, probably my only, go to waste. Before any of the chain links could join with my old broken ones, I leaped though the white void.

Half way though, one of Hell's chains linked to the metal shackle around my neck. I desperately gripped around for my sword, which was on my back.

The chain pulled me back, with my momentum pulling forward into the void. The shackle around my neck started to dig in to my skin and bruise it. Soon, blood was dripping from the wound. My wind pipe was also crushed, and it's not easy to concentrate when you can't breathe. As the chain dragged me to the edge of the void, I found my sword, ripped it out of it;s sheath, and hacked away at the chain. Since the angel was bad, it took four hits to fully rid myself instead of one.

The chain sunk to the ground as if all the tension on it had dissappered. I didn't stick around to fin out what had happened to it, but hurried through the void.

when I had reached the other side, I was surrounded by dark purple walls that seemed to move. I didn't seem to realize how exhausted I was until I tripped on something, and had no intention of getting up. The ground seemed to be pulling at me, willing me to give up and sink in.

In the far distance, a light seemed to appear, but It was moving swiftly and silently toward me. Was I hallucinating? Was this one of Hell;s side affects? Dizziness seemed to wash over me and black dots danced in my vision.

'So I survive hell, but die in...wherever I am...this sucks'

As the light approached, I realized what it was...the Cleaner. That must mean I'm in the Precipice World. Great...just great. My essence will be slowly absorbed and there's nothing can do about it.

Just before the Cleaner swallowed me up, A person, a shinagami by the looks of them, jumped in the way of the cleaner and started yelling. My vision went black and when it came around again, the person was standing over me, speaking words I could not make out.

Before I had a good look at my saviors face, I passed out, drained of energy.

**Hope you enjoyed that. School starts tomorrow...so I may not update for a while...sorry! I will as soon as I can. **

**Footnote: 'The Togabito ("Offenders"; "Sinners") are a species of spiritual beings that are imprisoned in Hell for crimes that they committed when they were alive.'-Bleach Wiki**


End file.
